Sunday 23 August 2015

Lessons learnt from...... Horror movies

I'm not a huge fan of horror movies as you probably all know but I am fully aware of them and I watched a fair few when I was younger (for fear of being ridiculed by my peers for being scared) so I know the general gist of how they work and how they start.  I've spent the last few weeks travelling around the UK for work trips and I have had various situations where I feel like I am in the beginning of a horror movie.  Luckily I have learnt from these movies what to do (or more importantly, what not to do!) and so wasn't brutally murdered....
Do not EVER get out of the car
I found myself driving down the darkest country lane which become darker when driving through dark wood where the trees had grown over the path.  I had to stop briefly to readjust my satnav...what I didn't do was get out of the car! What I also didn't do was leave the car unlocked! Had some shady character come out of the woods wielding a machete I would have calmly driven away (maybe not calmly and I may have stalled a few dozen times) but I would not be outside of my car running through the woods.
Courtesy of Dead End (2003)

Don't turn off the lights
You are asking for trouble,  if you turn out the lights and turn them back there is always a killer/vampire/demon etc standing behind you waiting to slaughter you! I checked into my latest hotel to be greeted with the setting of all great horror movies...high ceilings, chandeliers, long dark curtains, creaky was literally a scene from The Haunting. I kept the lamp on at all time (and the TV for safety) - serial killers never strike when someone is watching their favourite soap with the lights on!
Don't check out strange noises
I hear strange noises (shouting/screaming/creaking/growling) I stay exactly where I am and maybe lock the door.  I don't look out the window, I don't check the corridor,  I certainly don't check outside...I hide safely in my room and turns the volume up on the tele - I reiterate no movie serial killers strike during Eastenders!
If you accidently hurt someone (I.e hit them with a car) don't try to hide it, call the police.
I don't understand why anyone would do this but if it happens in movies it must happen in real life...right?  If you leave someone to die they will more than likely not be dead and come back to haunt/kill/torture you
Courtesy of I know what you did last summer  (1997)
Dolls are NOT toys!
I was always a big fan of dolls and had a lot as a child, then I watched Childs Play for the first time - suddenly the collection of China dolls that my Nan brought me became a sight of terror...I shut them in cupboards but I knew they were there and any noises was obviously my evil China doll come to life and trying to kill me!
Courtesy of Childs Play (1988) and Annabelle  (2014)
Just Leave
This seems like an obvious one, if you are on a group holiday with friends or a big family trip and people start dying....leave! Would you not just up and leg it to the nearest city and book a Premier Inn?! A nice safe premier Inn?! #justsayin
Courtesy of Cabin Fever (2002)
Sleep...a lot!
Terrifying situations often happen when it's dark, generally at night time! My advice, sleep! When you wake up in the morning, everything seems much less scary, sleep through the fear and and check everything out in the morning! If it keeps happening...move house!
Courtesy of Paranormal Activity (2007)
I 100% feel that in learning lessons from various horror movies I have in fact avoided a traumatic's obviously got nothing to do with that fact that I don't live in a horror movie!


  1. LOL Great post. I have to laugh at the "stay in the car" one because there's this horror movie called Penny Dreadful where the girl has a fear of cars and she's stuck in one, and the entire time I was just like "get out of the car and run!"

  2. Very entertaining post, but you stole a bit of my thunder. I was planning on doing something similar for a blogathon in October. I may still do it, we'll see.

  3. Great read, reminds me that some of the really terrifying stuff that has happened in horror movies COULD always be easily avoided!

  4. LOL!!!! I love this post so much!!! I learnt a lot from horror movies when I was a teenager, because I watched a ton and they scared the crap out of me.

    I have to say, I learnt rather quickly that I was glad I was born a boy, because all these crazed stalker/killer/masked crazies tend to hunt down the hot chick and kill all her friends. I went to bed many a nights telling myself "it's ok have a penis".