Our Most Disappointing Movies of 2015

Last year I titled this post something along the lines of ‘Worst Movies’ which was poor wording by me. Don’t get me wrong, some of the movies in that list really were terrible, and I don’t think anyone would disagree with me, but others weren’t bad movies per se, they just weren’t anywhere near as enjoyable as I hoped, and so I upset a few people with my choices. Yeah me!

So without further ado, here are the movies that disappointed us the most in 2015…

I have only myself to blame for watching Pixels. As soon as I saw the trailer in the cinema with a group of friends (I think we were watching Age of Ultron) we all had the same reaction, this is going to be awful. But it’s got video games in! We love video games! Plus, Game of Thrones was airing at the time so I was on a Peter Dinklage high. It actually wasn’t as bad as I had geared myself up for, but it could have been so much better.  I had exactly the same thought process but replace the word 'game' with 'Sandler' and I was a disappointed as Allie was in this.

Superhero movies are just everywhere now, there’s no escaping them. I didn’t enjoy any of the other Fantastic Four movies WHAT?!, but when I heard how bad this year’s offering was, I had to see it for myself. I enjoyed Green Lantern, (this still horrifies me, but I suppose I liked the first Fantastic Four so hey ho!) I was bound to find some good in this. Nope. Nooooope. It was awful from start to finish. It was pretty to look at, but with a cast or boring characters I could care less about, it was doomed from the start. Bored bored bored, nothing interesting or good about this just complete waste of money and a rushed project developed solely to ensure Fox kept the rights to the characters.

Ugh. Self/less. Let’s start with the trailer that gave away the whole darn movie, and move swiftly on to question why a multi millionaire genius would spent his fortune transferring his mind to a younger body when he has to let go of his old identity and his entire previous life? It was an entertaining watch, but made absolutely zero sense, sadly.

I’m sorry! This is my controversial choice this year. Let me explain. I love Despicable Me. Like, one of my favourite movies ever love Despicable Me. The sequel was really kind of rubbish, the only saving grace was those little yellow Minions. So I was so excited to find out they were getting their own movie! And it was okay! It’s just now, months after watching it, I can’t remember what even happened. There was an origin story, a convention, and London. No no no no no - how are we friends?! This film was completely ridiculous but I loved every minute and I quote the film on a daily basis, not one of the best of the year but definitely not one of the worst.

Usually, when I spot a movie with an amazing cast and decide to watch it, despite knowing nothing about it at all, it really pays off. I thought that would be the case with Aloha, but it was so, so dull and I didn’t know what the plot was whilst I was watching it, let alone try to recall it now. It was such a waste of Bradley Cooper and Emma Stone’s talents, they weren’t themselves at all in this.  Still not 100% sure of the plot for this movie and or why any of the cast agreed to be in it after reading the script (I read the plot on paper as well and I still don't understand it!).

Maybe I shouldn’t have watched Spooks: The Greater Good without at least researching the TV Show first. I figured it would work as a standalone, and well, it has Jon Snow running around London in tight trousers, I thought it would be good! Sadly, it was a generic ‘there’s a terrorist and they have someone on the inside and we don’t know who’ movie, and for fun, I guessed who it would be at the start of the movie. I was right. Darn. Normally that feels good.

Whyyy was Hot Tub Time Machine 2 even made? The first was okay at best.  I assume this is a joke because the first Hot Tub Time Machine was freakin' awesome! Again, my own fault here because I thought Adam Scott would make everything better. Only he was wearing a skirt. Why?! Argh! Just bland, all round.  However, I fully agree with the second one being in this list, just terrible not even the cameo at the end could save this.

Ah, Jupiter Ascending. The reason I can never look at Eddie Redmayne without hearing his raspy voice in my head. I reviewed all of my movie choices in this list apart from this one, because I literally couldn’t. All I could muster was a vague outline of the plot as I saw it, which was a page full of drabble. Not even good old Channing Tatum could save this one for me. It was beautiful to look at, though!  I still can't explain why I have seen this film TWICE, after realising how bad it was the first time round I still sat through it a full second time. why why why?! This was awful, I wasn't convinced I knew what was happening in the story and the visuals, although stunning, were bizarre and didn't appear to add anything to the film.  Oh Channing why?!

Ok so this may not have been one of the worst of the year but bear with me, there is a reason behind my choice here.  I watched this on pay per view in a hotel room in Qatar, why would that affect my opinion on the movie I hear you cry... well it seems in the Middle East on pay per view they will in fact cut out all scenes of, what they consider, inappropriateness therefore there were no sex scenes, not one....in  Fifty Shades of Grey...therefore it was just a really bad romantic comedy.  I have since watched the film in full and still didn't think a whole lot of it so  here it is.... I still love this story! Please keep telling me it because it's funny every time!

Loved loved loved the books, the first film was ok and this one was bad...really really bad and Shailene Woodley seems to have lost the ability to act for this particular role. Whole film was choppy and confusing even having read the books I still had no idea what was going on. I think I may swerve the final installment completely.

I watched all eight seasons in a matter of weeks and as with all seasons when the end the possibility of finding out where the characters all ended up (am I only one still holding out hope for a Friends movie?!).  So the idea of the Entourage movie was exciting, that is until it started and I realised it was poop (to use the technical term).  It destroyed every neat little bow it set up at the end of the series in order to allow the boys the freedom to be the gross, sex mad lunatics they had been previously.

Trying to follow The Heat was always going to be tough and this did not managed to live up to it, not even close.  The characters are irritating instead of funny and the story is plain ridiculous (and not in a funny way!).  Disappointed in both the leads especially after Witherspoon's epic performance in Wild and Vergara's general hilarity in Modern Family. Not good at all.

Review: Minions (2015)

Back in 2010, Universal Pictures gave us an animated film that many never expected to love as much as they did. Three years later we were given a sequel, which failed to wow but certainly reminded us just how much we love Despicable Me. Fast forward to the present day and Gru’s minions are everywhere. They’re on pajamas, sweets, bedspreads, and now they even have their own film. I got the pleasure of watching Minions the way I think it should, with a kid by my side. Who said babysitting your brother had to be boring?

Minions is a prequel of sorts to Despicable Me, and tells us the story of how the minions came to be, and what they did before they found Gru. The story itself focuses on three main Minions, Kevin, Stuart and Bob, as they leave the rest of their pack (group? What’s the collective term for minions anyway? swarm? gaggle?) and try to find a new boss. Their journey leads them to Villain Con in Orlando, where they meet Scarlet Overkill (Sandra Bullock) and do everything they can to impress her.

The start of the film was painfully slow, and although the narration was needed, it felt like I was being read a children’s story and I felt quite bored.  I loved the beginning, although I had seen a lot of it in the trailer but I still loved the story telling and the narration. Once the minions arrived in Orlando though, the pace picked back up and the rest of the film was enjoyable.  I  did however get a bit bored in the middle but luckily my 2 year old niece didn't "Aunty Jenna, loooooooooooook" *points frantically at the screen* It did suffer I thought from the age-old issue of all the funniest moments being in the trailer.

There were two main things I loved about Minions. One was of course the little yellow cuties themselves, but with them being the main characters this time, we got to hear a lot more of their own language, which derives from languages from all over the world (and Bananas), which now makes sense after the introduction to the film. There are moments where I was begging for subtitles, but for the most part you can tell what the little guys are trying to say. I think its more about the body language and the actions to understand what they are saying, I still love the scene with Stuart and the yellow fire hydrant...."Ello papagena...."

What got the most laughs from me was the British stereotyping. I feel like I should be mildly offended? Like I want to assure people that our policemen do not drink and drive (tea from china cups that is) and we don’t all cry ‘blimey!’ when we’re distressed! We do drink a lot of tea though...I type this whilst drinking tea so it must be true, ha!  I too am drinking tea but not driving at the same time but it does explain why the UK area of Epcot in Florida looks the way it does!

I loved this film (excusing the brief boredom around the middle), but I only ever remotely enjoyed Despicable Me 2 because of these little guys, the rest was a waste of time.  I thought it was as good as Despicable Me and really made me laugh out loud and made my niece squeal with delight (which always makes my day!).

Minions wasn’t as good as good as the original Despicable Me, although the ending made me squeal with glee (I won’t spoil it) and I’d rank it on par with Despicable Me 2. It’s a good film, don’t get me wrong, but I think Minions appeals to a much younger audience.  Maybe I have a lower mental age than you?! 

Looking Forward to Seeing at the Cinema: June 2015

So, this is probably the most confusing post we have ever co-written, first Allie starts with this:

Okay, so I know what I want to pick this month, but I know Jenna's looking forward to it more, and I stole Avengers: Age of Ultron from her last time I started this post off, so I'll let her have it. There's a film coming out in June that I'm not 100% sold on yet, but I'll absolutely still see it at the cinema, and probably at the IMAX.

Obviously, followed by her reasons for choosing this (see below), which strangely include the fact that she hasn't seen the previous 3 Jurassic Park films).  At this point, this is my face....

...mostly because I have no idea which film Allie thinks I was going to choose (mainly because I was going to choose Jurassic World).  So I text Allie to ask what film she was referring to and of course she meant this:

This was true, I was looking forward to Minions but didn't realise it was out in June (the post above appears to agree with me).  Anyway I agreed as Allie had already written her bit I would go with Minions.  Que 2 days later when we text again and decided to go the other way as Allie hadn't seen the Jurassic Park movies anyway.  There was further texting and now its 10pm on May 31st and I have text Allie to check which way round we were going with this and she can't remember either!! So in short, here is why me and Allie are looking forward to BOTH Jurassic World AND Minions:

That's right, Jurassic World! I'm over my 'why does Chris Pratt have to be cast for everything' rant by now (why would this bother anyone, he is beautiful!), I'm over that, but I do have a confession. I haven't seen a Jurassic Park film. At least I don't think so. I may have seen the original, but I was too young to remember any of it. I'm going to make sure I watch it before I watch Jurassic World though, don't worry.

I LOOOOOOVE Jurassic Park and Jurassic Park 3 (The Lost World was a waste of money and perfectly good dinosaurs!) and as soon as I heard about this coming out I was beyond excited and then they announced Chris Pratt was in it, could it get any better! I have a few niggles, i.e. WHY after the disaster that was the park in the first movie, why would anyone even think about opening a dinosaur park??! Why would anyone visit it?! This better be explained early on in the movie or so help me God...  Other than that, can't wait!

What's the verdict so far? Is everyone geared up for a rip-roaring success or is it going to be another un-necessary sequel? Here's the trailer by the way, in case you haven't seen it already:

Jurassic World will be released in UK cinemas on 12th June 2015.

Aaaaand as promised, why i'm looking forward to the Minions very own movie, put it this way, the only reason I went to see (and even remotely liked) Despicable Me 2 was for the Minions, they were the only good part.  The concept of the story looks really clever from the trailer and hopefully it will have the adult inside jokes that all grown ups know and love while being colourful and entertaining to keep the small people distracted for a few hours.

My only worry would be that it's not good, people have been demanded a Minion movie since the first Despicable Me hit our screens back in 2010 so there is a lot riding on this.

If you missed it, here is the trailer:

Minions will be released in UK cinemas on 18th June 2015