Review: Flightplan (2005)

Another family recommendation for me here. My love of mystery/thriller movies must stem from them, but I do have to take their suggestions with a pinch of...something. They thought San Andreas was the best action movie of the year, and well, they’re still telling me how much they loved After Earth. Bless them. After I told them about Non-Stop (which I shamelessly loved, making me a huge hypocrite I know!) they said it had a very similar plot to Flightplan, and I should get on that. So I did!  I must have watched this the year it came out, it was so long ago i had forgetten the film even existed!

Flightplan (2005) centres on Kyle Pratt (Jodie Foster), a bereaved woman who is flying back from from Berlin to America with her young daughter. On board is the coffin carrying Kyle’s husband. Shortly after their flight takes off, Kyle’s daughter goes missing, and after a brief search of the plan, she is nowhere to be found. What’s worse is that the passengers around her claim to not even remember seeing her daughter in the first place.

So, it’s difficult to discuss this movie without spoilers, but I’m going to do my best! Kyle is aided in her search by Air Marshall Carson (Peter Sarsgaard) who honestly, to me, looked stoned the entire time. Is that part of Sarsgaard’s general demeanor? I haven’t seen enough of him to know, but he was instantly dislikeable to me. 

Of better help to Kyle is the plane’s main pilot, Captain Rich (Sean Bean). Now, come on...don’t you want to watch Flightplan now just to see if he lives or dies? I won’t tell you… My memory fails me so you'll have to tell me at the next movie night ;-)

As most movies of this nature do, we have several distractions thrown at us to confuse us about what’s really happening. Only, in this case, they seem to serve no purpose. At one point, Kyle picks out a couple of passengers and says she remembers seeing them outside her house the night before, watching her. The passengers act suspicious instantly and later in the film physically attack Kyle, which no one seems to care about, and unless I fell asleep like Kyle, I don’t remember that plot point being tied up at all.   Turns out I don't remember this film at all, I think I have a combination of this and Panic Room all caught up in knots in my aged brain!

Despite that though, I did enjoy the movie overall. It’s not the best mystery movie I’ve seen, but it did keep me guessing. About a third of the way though I had a brainwave and sat all smug knowing I’d worked out the plot already, but I was proven wrong, and I like that.  So much for me adding to this review, can you please text me a plot summary so I have some idea what this film was actually about haha!

Give me Non-Stop over Flightplan, but it was an enjoyable watch at least. Now to adjust my Sean Bean ‘survived or died’ chart…

Review: The Martian (2015)

When the hype kicked in before the release of The Martian, I vowed to locate a copy of the book and read it cover to cover, and then see it on the big screen. Only one of those things happened in the end. Ah, the best laid plans… To be honest, when I planned a cinema trip nearly 7 weeks after it’s release, I was surprised to see my local cinema was still playing it, I thought I’d missed it all together!  I too very nearly missed this one but luckily one of my local cinemas has over 30 screens so keeps movies on for longer than most...phew!

Before I try to write something that resembles a review however, let me first have a little cinema related rant. Yes, there was a group of kids/teens chatting or laughing at the back of the screen, to be honest, it was barely even audible. Certainly not enough to ruin the experience. What was annoying however, was the couple a few rows behind me shouting ‘Jesus Christ’ and ‘Shut Up’ every 5 minutes. They started this charade during the trailers! I wanted to turn around and explain the irony, but I knew I’d only be adding to the problem. Chill out, crazy couple!  I can sympathise with both you and the couple, my Dad barely hears anything in the cinema but I can hear every whisper and it drives me bonkers, so I wold probably be the couple haha!  Although, I do try to cause less disruption with my annoyance than the actual disruption.

Anyway, The Martian (2015) is based on a novel of the same name written by Andy Weir. After a terrible storm kicks up on Mars, the Ares III crew are forced to evacuate, but during their escape, Mark Watney (Matt Damon) is hit by debris and presumed dead. During the crew’s journey home to Earth, it is discovered that Mark is still alive on Mars, and so NASA must now perform the biggest rescue mission ever known.  Did anyone else think that maybe NASA wouldn't spend Millions probably Billions of Dollars to save one person?! (my Dads response to this comment was 'Well what else were they gonna do?' which I guess is kind of logical!)

Watching Mark figure out how to survive out on Mars for as long as possible was absolutely fascinating to watch, if not a little gross at times. We all know what fertilizer is of course, but ew. I will also never take a bottle of ketchup for granted ever again. I wasn’t expecting The Martian to be so funny, either. Not that it’s a comedy or anything, but this line in particular was hilarious: “In the face of overwhelming odds, I'm left with only one option, I'm gonna have to science the shit out of this.”  My personal favourite was "I am the greatest Botanist on this planet".  The whole film had a real dry humour about it, it actually reminded me of typical British humour which felt great in a big Hollywood blockbuster!

Space movies aren’t my usual go-to movie of choice, and that’s mainly because I just don’t understand the science involved. For example, I felt like I enjoyed Interstellar, but man, I didn’t understand any of it. The Martian is different though. I got a little lost when the team at NASA were doing the calculations on how to rescue Mark, but for most of the time, I actually understood what was going on. Maybe that’s thanks to Mark himself for his crude and literal explanations of everything.

Although there were no crazy plot twists or dramatic love stories involved, I felt engaged from start to finish, although the run-time was a little long for a cinema trip for me. I need my pause breaks for long movies to get another cup of tea and a few biscuits! It was absolutely worth seeing this on the big screen though, the sets on Mars were simply stunning to look at.

I really loved this film, the humour helps to curb the sentimentality and moving from Watney surviving on his own, the rest of the Ares III crew on their ship and Houston keeps the pace of the film up really well.  In fact, when it ended I was so disappointed, I didn't want it to finish - I'm certain there is no requirement for a sequel but I will be keeping my fingers crossed!!

I should also mention the supporting cast, which contains quite a few big names and familiar faces. We don’t get to see much of them, but they keep the tension high and there’s a nice mix of series and comedic characters in there.  I loved Donald Glover, he's just cropping up everywhere at the minute, much to my delight!

The Martian will without a doubt be in my Top 10 for the year list, it was everything I hoped it would be. Now to make a start on that book!  Ditto!

Review: Pixels (2015)

Gamer nerds, unite! Okay, that was a little lame, sorry. But seriously, I’m all in for a movie that celebrates being a gamer. It’s just taken me a while to get round to watching this one. When I first saw the trailer for Pixels, I though, this is one of those movies that’s going to be terrible, but a little bit awesome at the same time. As the terrible reviews flooded in, my enthusiasm died a little, but I still wanted to give it a chance.  I hadn't read any reviews so I had no idea what to expect....

Pixels (2015) starts off in the summer of 1982, and when a new arcade opens up in town, friends Brenner (Adam Sandler) and Cooper (Kevin James) race over to master the games. Whilst there they meet Ludlow (Josh Gad) who’s in love with Lady Lisa, the main star of the game Dojo Quest. After working his way through the ranks, Brenner goes head to head with Eddie (Peter Dinklage) in a game of Donkey Kong. The host announces that footage of the competition will be sent into space by NASA, and consequently, an alien race treats the footage as a declaration of war, and use video games to attack Earth.

It’s a pretty silly plot, there’s no moving around that one, but it’s a fun one at the very least! I would class myself as an Adam Sandler fan, but I enjoyed this a lot more than the last movies I saw of his, both Grown Ups. Admittedly, I think I’m just a few years too young to fully appreciate Pixels. I played Pacman and Donkey Kong, but remastered versions on early generation games consoles, and they were the only game characters I actually recognised. There’s definitely a lot of nostalgia here for 80’s gamers though!  I recognised more from watching Wreck it Ralph than from actual video games (I was more of a Barbie kid!!).  I will readily admit that I am a huge Adam Sandler fan and I to disagree with Allie on this one because Grown Ups (the first one) was awesome and this didn't even come into the same league (it was pretty much on par with Grown Ups 2 - Grown Ups 2 was horrendous, at least Pixels had a plot!).

The visuals were a pretty sight to see, and I reckon they would only be better on the big screen. The final Donkey Kong scene was nothing short of awesome, and even though the trailer already showed it, I loved the idea of using coloured Mini Cooper’s for Inky, Blinky, Pinky and Clyde!  Agreed, the visuals were amazing and the Mini Coopers were great (but how did they know they were going to need them -just another of the little niggles that bothered me throughout!)

As much as I enjoyed this, it certainly wasn’t without it’s flaws. I lost interest in the plot several times, and a few of the characters got on my nerves a little. Why did Peter Dinklage have to put on a ‘douchebag’ voice throughout the entire movie? It just wasn’t necessary. Also, I realise the soundtrack was from the 80’s but the whole Centipede battle scene would have been 100x more awesome if it was backed by Knife Party’s Centipede. Look it up on YouTube, and please internet, make this happen for me. Oh, and spoiler alert, but if you’re going to cast Sean Bean in your movie, in a military role no less, kill him off! Wasted opportunity there, Sandler. YES! I know this film was completely unrealistic and unbelievable but I could not get my head around Kevin James being President, it was so irritating.

All in all, I was really disappointed, I wanted to love it but I just didn't!  It pushed the unrealistic too far and wasn't even remotely funny....at all! (that's hard for me to say about a Sandler film)

Not the best movie out there by a long shot, but give me Adam Sandler over James Franco any day! 

Disappointed in Mr Sandler...sort it out man!

Jupiter Ascending Explained in 30 Seconds

For the record, I really do wish I could review Jupiter Ascending, and score it at the end. But how can you review something that made absolutely no sense to you?! Normally, when I draft up a review, I do a little introduction which normally has nothing to do with the film, locate a poster to make the post look pretty, and then summarise the plot of the film. Well, that’s where I got stuck.

What you’re getting instead is me, attempting to explain the plot, as I understood it. This may or may not be in chronological order, it’s been a whole week since I saw the film and I’ve kind of forgotten half of it. Apologies in advance…Oh! Spoilers ahead...

Some guys in uniform bust in on Mila Kunis’s parents and murder her father. He was trying to protect his telescope. I don’t know why. 

Skip to the present day. Mila Kunis cleans toilets for a living, although she’s always dreamed of more… p.s. her name is Jupiter...Jupiter - really!

Channing Tatum’s stealing some kind of medical records for a girl who’s name I can’t remember. It’s not Mila Kunis though. A group of weirdos, one with pink and blue hair, one with a crazy mohawk, and I think there was a third (?!) try and steal them from him. Channing uses his inner Magic Mike and escapes.

In the night, some alien things try and murder Mila Kunis’ friend, who just happens to be that girl whose records were taken. Mila manages to get a picture of it all on her iPhone. The aliens are cool with that.

The next morning, Mila goes to sell her eggs using the name of her friend. What was the friends purpose in this movie?! (see further rant below!) She really wants/needs the money to buy a telescope just like her father’s. Plot twist! The doctors are aliens who think Mila is actually her friend, and try to kill her. Channing to the rescue!

Once rescued, Channing takes Mila to his friend Ned Stark, who is alive and well. He lives with a lot of bees, bees which love Mila Kunis. Channing and Ned reckon this means Mila is actually royalty, so they take her to space.  I've never been stung by a bee, does this make me royalty?!

In between all of this, there’s some royal arguments over who owns Earth and when it needs to be ‘harvested’ Eddie Redmayne does a brilliant Voldemort impression.  I couldn't understand word he said!

Turns out that not only is Mila royalty, she’s the re-incarnation of the Eddie Redmayne and the other two’s mother. Err, what? Pretty Boy, Eddie’s brother hatches a master plan to marry his re-incarnated mother, murder her, and then take Earth for himself. Did we ever learn why Earth was so important to him?  Moreso, Why did he want to marry his own Mom?! yak!

If you hadn’t guessed, Channing to the rescue. Again. Mila is a little in love with him and his wolfy ears.

I really forgot what happened next. There was some fighting, some sort of betrayal, and Mila realised all she really wants to do is go back home and clean toilets. Somehow, her wish is granted. Everyone lives happily ever after, Channing Tatum now has wings, and Ned Stark got to see the credits with his head intact. Huzzah! haha!!

Sorry to anyone who really enjoyed this movie. If I may add, it was visually beautiful. It's just that it felt like it was based on a book that was mandatory reading material before walking in to the cinema!

I feel exactly the same as Allie (which is saying something because I usually understand films when she doesn't!! Sorry mate!) so I only have one thing to add to this.  Why, why, why did the Wachowski's decide after the debacle that was The Matrix Reloaded AND Revolutions, to make ANOTHER film that was visually stunned but appeared to be written by a small child.  The dialogue was painful and the story was ridiculous (what I could understand of it) and there was numerous characters/characters names that were brought in and out with no logical explanation.  Why have a film with such a complicated plot and vast volume of un-necessary characters and mentions with such simplistic and cheesy dialogue.  I wanted to love it, I had high hopes for it....unfortunately my hopes were dashed after 10 minutes!!