Halloweenie Review: Orphan (2009)

When I thought up the ‘Halloweenie’ idea for this blog over October, I didn’t expect to enjoy it as much as I have so far. Really, I was just looking for an excuse to watch It Follows and The Babadook without having to try and write a proper review for them, but having knocked those two out of the park early on, I found myself on Sunday night actively looking for another good Horror movie to watch. That’s how I came across Orphan (2009). I came across a list of ‘The 25 Best Horror Films of the 21st Century so far’ and didn’t get any further than the first one on the list.

“An original chiller co-produced by Leonardo DiCaprio”

“...it ramps up to a rare (and essentially unguessable) twist”

Oh, I’m sold.

The orphan in question is a young girl named Esther (Isabelle Fuhrman), who is adopted by troubled parents Kate (Vera Farmiga) and John (Peter Sarsgaard) who already have 2 children younger than Esther, one of which is deaf. I’m still not sure why, or how that’s important to the plot, but okay. At least it made me keep my eyes on the screen to read the subtitles whenever she was signing.

It’s quite a long movie, but it never really dragged. The characters are all well introduced, we learn about the struggles Kate and John have had, Kate’s drinking problem, John’s infidelity, their miscarriage. I question whether it’s the right time for them to adopt, but then so did they, so I can accept that. Esther is an instantly likeable character, she’s quiet and doesn’t like like to play with the other children at the home, but she enjoys music and art, and she’s very smart. She’s a little odd, with her dress sense, ribbons and the way she talks, and that only gets worse as the movie goes on.

Esther quickly takes a liking to her new younger sister and her new father, but doesn’t like Kate much at all. She manipulates the whole family in such a way it’s frustrating to watch at times. I haven’t seen many of Peter Sarsgaard’s movies but I always find his character unlikeable, and I can’t explain why. I couldn’t stand him in this either. Would you really trust the word of your newly adopted and down right weird daughter over your wife?

I’ll keep this post spoiler free for anyone who hasn’t seen the movie yet, but I can’t argue with the second point that sold the movie to me in the first place. I did NOT see that plot twist coming. Personally, I try not to work it out anyway, because I love the thrill of the twist when it comes, but I couldn’t help but laugh at this one. I mean, really?!

I feel so conflicted. The movie felt well written (almost), well made, well acted, but so much made so little sense. It felt like so many details were thrown in to throw the audience off the scent, but really, the clues were there from the very beginning. I’m going to have to mull over this one for a while I think!

Halloweenie Review: The Human Centipede, First Sequence (2009)

October is Halloweenie month here at Flick Chicks, the month that Jenna and I put on our big girl pants and force ourselves to sit through a few horror movies. You can read more about it in our announcement post here, and get involved if you’d like!

Why did I decide to watch The Human Centipede? My smart, blogger answer would be that I’d like to experience the full range of horror movies, from slasher to supernatural to gore, but I’m not even sure what category this would fall into. Torture? The real answer to that question is that I’m fed up of every TV show out there making reference to a movie I’ve never seen.  I have no idea why I watched this back when it was released, morbid curiosity maybe - either way I honestly wished I hadn't (and I enjoy a good gore film!!) This is just horrific!

I’m pretty sure everyone knows the plot to The Human Centipede. Some creepy guy kidnaps some people and sews their mouths to another person’s butt, thus creating a human centipede. What I didn’t know beforehand is that creepy guy has already done this with some dogs. Yuk.  The worst part about this is that his logic is that as long as he feeds the first one the rest will survive on the nutrients, and we all know what that means!!  Case in point, there was one scene that actually made me gag and I had to turn away to avoid losing my dinner!

So the movie starts with what I come to expect from most horrors, some dumb people doing some dumb stuff. This time, it’s two American girls on vacation in Germany who get themselves lost in the woods, and then accept ‘creepy guy’s’ offer of shelter from the rain whilst he calls for help. Life pro tip here, don’t accept a drink from a stranger, especially when you didn’t see them prepare it.  General life tip, rain does not hurt you, man with medical equipment in his basement does!!

What I hate about horrors is the suspense. I hate waiting for that jump scare that I know is coming, because it makes me jump anyway. It always happens the same way! Why do houses in these movies have whole walls made of windows, with the curtains drawn? I know you’re going to pull that curtain back. I know there’s going to be someone on the other side waiting for you and - DAMNIT, I knew it and I still jumped.

There was only really that one jump scare, and the rest of the movie was just kind of gross. I should have known better. Still, I couldn’t help but laugh when one of the girls got on creepy guy’s bad side by trying to escape. Of course your punishment is going to be becoming the middle of the centipede! Duh!

Worst. PowerPoint Presentation. Ever.

I can't say I remember the jump in this one, I just remember the ending where they just topple over, I felt so bad for the woman in the middle but I couldn't help but laugh (Yes I am a horrible person!).  I feel like this film would have been a whole different experience if me and Allie has watched it together, we would have shouted at the screen and talked over the particularly horrid bits. It would have been a bit more Sharknado and a bit less ewwww!

Has anyone watched the other two Human Centipede movies? I can’t believe they actually made more, but we're on the 4th Sharknado movie, so there’s that.  I knew there was another one, I didn't know there was two more, do we even want to go there? We really don't, but The Human Centipede didn't scar me for life unlike It Follows!

I'm not sure I can rate this out of 10, it wasn't a badly made film but the story was cooked up by someone super cray-cray and the outcome was just gross...how does one quantify that?!

Thursday Movie Picks: Journalists/Reporters for Print/TV

Happy Thursday everyone! Did you know that there’s only 99 days to go until Christmas? Sorry. 

In a week where politics seems to have taken over the radio and TV in the UK, I’m more than happy to switch off and  immerse myself into movies, and what better way than with Wanderer’s Thursday Movie Picks? This week we’re looking at Journalists/Reporters for Print/TV, and here are my picks:

Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa (2013) is a British to the bone Comedy about a chain of events which sees DJ Presenter/Reporter Alan Partridge’s radio station being taken over by a group of corporate big-wigs. The situation worsens when Alan (Steve Coogan) upsets a colleague who then decides to hold everyone hostage. In a crazy turn of events, Alan becomes a hostage negotiator between them and the Scotland Yard. I was dragged kicking and screaming into the cinema for this, but it was actually a lot funnier than I expected. Complete silliness of course, but good fun!

One of my favourite films of last year, Nightcrawler (2014) is the story of Lou Bloom (Jake Gyllenhaal), a desperate man trying to get into the world of crime journalism. As he becomes more and more successful, his morality blurs into the point of darkness. I initially overlooked this film completely but I’m so glad I gave it a go in the end, it really left me cold by the time the credits rolled. Our full review is here.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2009) is a movie based on the book of the same name by Stieg Larsson, in which a journalist seeks the help of a female hacker to find a woman who has been missing for forty years. This is the only version I’ve seen, I’m yet to watch the Daniel Craig version, but I just loved how gritty this was and how true it stayed to my vision of the book. The book is definitely worth a read, too!

Review: Moon (2009)

This is another film that’s been sat in a ‘recommended’ list for so long I forgot why it was there in the first place. After watching it the other night, I suspect it was recommended to me after reviewing Interstellar, or maybe even Gravity, but that’s just a guess! As I write this now the UK is going through an insufferable heat wave, and with hindsight, maybe watching a mind-boggling sci-fi whilst melting in my living room was the wrong thing to do.

Moon is a clever little sci-fi film set in the future, where mankind has discovered an alternative fuel source found on the moon, helium-3. Sam (Sam Rockwell) is the sole employee at a lunar station on the moon, where we manges the machines responsible for harvesting the helium-3 from the moon’s surface. As his 3 year contract comes to an end and he looks forward to coming back home to earth, he is injured in an accident.

I think that’s all I can really tell you without spoiling anything. If you’re thinking about watching Moon, I promise to keep this spoiler free for you! Also, you must forgive the sloppy review.Sci-fi is not my forte, and ‘space stuff’ tends to go right over my head. For example, there’s a robot in Moon called GERTY (voiced by Kevin Spacey), that I’m told is a nod to a robot in 2001: A Space Odyssey, but I haven’t seen that...maybe that’ll be one for the Blind Spot list next year.

Speaking of GERTY though, he was delightful. He has a little monitor with an emotion-style face which ranges from a grin to crying, which tells us how he’s feeling at any time. Does he feel? Does he have AI? I’m not sure! He does have a ‘kick me’ sign on his back though, which made me chuckle.

It was nice to see Sam Rockwell in such a serious role. I’ve only seen him in comedies so far and I really do think he’s a good actor. There’s a particular scene which really stuck with me where he has a complete breakdown, and it was so moving. He nailed it! The music as well was brilliant, and straight from the start it gave me a feeling that things weren’t going to be happy fun times.

So, as much as I’ve praised Moon, something still doesn’t sit right with me. Sam didn’t freak out as much as I thought he should have done at a certain revelation, and the twist kind of wasn’t a twist, either. I don’t know? It’s hard to explain, but nothing really shocked me in this. It was enjoyable for sure, but I didn’t love it as much as I perhaps should have done. Absolutely worth a watch though!

Thursday Movie Picks: Mother-Son Relationships (Biologically Related)

This week’s theme has been surprisingly difficult, and I had to break the rules a little too. If you’re not familiar with the Thursday Movie Picks, it’s an amazing thing hosted by Wandering Through the Shelves. Each week brings a new theme, and all you need to do is pick 3 movies that fit the bill to discuss. This week is one of many 'All in the Family Editions', this time featuring Mother-Son relationships.

Only God Forgives is probably the anti-choice for this week’s themes, as I can’t imagine the mother has a ‘Best Mum Ever’ mug at home for her actions. Ryan Gosling’s character’s brother is murdered and his crime lord mother compels him to hunt down his killer and cause trouble. Still, I’d like to think it shows how much he loves his mother to go and do this at her command, but maybe he’s equally afraid of her? This movie made little sense at the best of times!

How to Train your Dragon 2 introduced us to a character we thought was long gone, Hiccup’s mother! (Not a spoiler - much to my disappointment this was all over the trailers). Getting to see Hiccup reunite with his mother after all those years and to see the similarities in the two of them was heart warming and a real highlight of the whole film. If only it could have been kept as a surprise.

Here are my three:

Who doesn't love Shaun's mum in Shaun of the Dead and who wasn't completely heartbroken when he realised she had been bitten.  As well as the awkward everyone threatening to stab each other stand off while there is a gun pointed at his mum!   It was one of the really emotionally moments in this zom-com that made us all fall in love with the Cornetto trilogy.

At the beginning of this movie, Trevor's mom, Arlene (Helen Hunt) is a bit of a waster, she keeps letting her alcoholic, abusive ex (and Trevor's father) back into their lives while apparently skipping on much of her parental duties.  However, as the film moves forward you learn more about Arlene and what she has been through and she also realises what her son actually needs from her.  Its great to watch Trevor (Haley Joel Osment) be the parent in there relationship and to see the tables turn as the story progresses.

This is where I am technically cheating because the reason I chose this film was because of the relationship between Leigh Anne (Sandra Bullock) and Michael (Quinton Aaron), hence the cheating as they are not biologically related.  However, the more I thought about it the more I considered her relationship with her biological son SJ (Jae Head).  He has been raised with all the luxuries in life and has never wanted for anything and yet he is willing to share his whole life with Michael because of the way he has been raised.  My all time favourite scene in this movie is after the boys are in a car crash while Michael was driving, Leigh Anne is running down the street shouting 'My kids, they are my kids...' such a heart-warming moment.

Review: Mr. Nobody (2009)

This might be the hardest review I’ve ever tried to write. Let me introduce this post with sentences that make sense before I spiral into confusion. My Grampy is an avid reader of our blog (or so he tells me) and I love catching up with him on a Sunday and discussing films we’ve both watched. He recommended Mr. Nobody to me ages ago now, and reminds me every week that he hasn’t seen a review for it on our blog yet.

Not that I’d purposely put it off or anything, but it’s taken me a long time to finally sit down and watch it. I knew it would be a mind-bender, but that’s actually my favourite kind of film. There have been a great number of films I’ve had to read into (Inception, Enemy, Donnie Darko) before I fully understand them, but Mr Nobody is still playing on my mind now, and so you’ll have to excuse me if this review makes little sense!

IMDB describes the film’s plot as the main character, Nemo (Jared Leto) as a young boy, stood on a train station platform trying to decide whether he should stay with his Father or get onto the train and leave with his Mother. The film then shows a series of possible outcomes of that decision. It’s extremely hard to work out what part of the film is the ‘current’ timeframe, as although it seems to be the elderly Nemo telling his story to a reporter, it’s made very clear that Nemo can ‘remember the future’.

I love the premise of the film. It’s a perfect cross between the Butterfly Effect and Chaos Theory. As a child I used to overthink the tiniest things and think about what would happen depending on my choices (I was an odd child) and so this film is just perfect for me. It was just that little bit too confusing. I’m still wondering if there’s a Sci-Fi element there, what with the journey to Mars and the future that elderly Nemo is living in.

Tying the whole film together is a trio of girls that Nemo knows as a child. Depending on his choices at the train station, in each of his ‘lives’ he ends up getting married to each of them, although it’s clear which his true love really is. Some of the stories are actually quite heart-breaking. The colours of their dresses when they are young remain with them as they grow older, the colour schemes are very clear.

By the time you’re reading this I’ll have met up with my Grampy, and maybe he’ll be able to shed some light on my confusions. That, or the whole reason he wanted me to watch it is because he didn’t understand it and hoped I would!

Mr. Nobody will now be known as the most confusing film I’ve ever watched, but it was thoroughly enjoyable and I would recommend it to anyone who doesn’t mind taking paracetamol with their popcorn.

Review: District 9 (2009)

You know the drill by now. I have an ever-growing lists of films that people mention and then gasp in horror when I tell them I've never seen it. I'm slowly ticking films off this list, and the other night I finally got round to watching District 9. I completely forgot what it was about actually, but the DVD cover reminded me that it had something to do with aliens. Nothing to do with the Hunger Games then! Haha!

Basically, the gist of the story is that years ago, an alien mother-ship arrives on Earth, and is discovered to contain hundreds of malnutritioned beings. District 9 is formed for the aliens to live in, but the living conditions are awful and slum-like.

The film itself plays as a documentary on TV following the events of the aliens arriving and Wikus Van De Merwe’s involvement in the eviction of the residents of District 9. I think this is what makes it stand out so much for me and I don’t remember another film quite like it. It definitely sets it apart from other alien invasion films.  The first time I actually watched this I thought Sharlto Copley was a terrible actor, that was until I realised he was 'being filmed' for the documentary and actually he was a fantastic actor, in fact he was the highlight of this movie for me.

I found myself conflicted throughout the first half of the film, I actually didn't know which side I wanted to root for, or which side I was supposed to be. During the first few scenes I was extremely against the aliens, or ‘prawns’ as I should probably call them! However, once Wikus and his team strolled in, I suddenly had this extreme disliking of the guy and started to side with the prawns. It was subtly hilarious though, the thought of Wikus walking through District 9 asking for signatures to confirm that each household understood the terms of their eviction!  The connections between this scenario and real life society in regards to the Rich-Poor divide and racism was quite jarring in places I thought, it tugged on my heartstrings a bit even though these are a fictional race.

I really enjoyed this aspect of the film, normally if you watch an alien film you are either on the side of the aliens or the humans that are against them.  This film had you flicking back and forth from one to the other, but it kept you on your toes.  It also stopped you from guessing what the ending would be, it kept me interested I can say that.

I promise to keep this review spoiler-free, so let’s just say that I very quickly took Wikus’s side again. For me, this is where the film really kicked up a gear and turned from great to epic. This is the first film that I've seen Sharlto Copley in, his acting was superb, I couldn't fault him. Even though I couldn't work out how it could end happily, I still rooted for Wikus throughout and the scenes where he was on the phone to his wife broke my heart.  Curl up in a ball, try not to cry, cry a lot...

Despite everything, my favourite character might have been Christopher Johnson and his little son. The digital effects team did a fantastic job because even though they speak a language we can only understand through subtitles, through their gestures and facial features, their eyes in particular, you can feel every bit of emotion they portray, which was so clever.

I can’t comment on whether the ending was what I expected, because I genuinely just didn't have a clue how it would pan out. It saddened me deeply, but with my critic hat on, it was the perfect ending. Has there been talk of a sequel? As much as I would love one, I wouldn't want it to jeopardise such an amazing stand-alone film.  Really it was the only way it could end, but you don't know that until you get there.  I have to agree with the sequel, it could be great or it could ruin it completely.  I think there was talks of one at one point but not sure if anything panned out.

Review: Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (2009)

In my Best and Worst Emma Stone post I mentioned that I hadn't yet seen Ghosts of Girlfriends Past. Well, I soon corrected that the other night!

I watched this years ago, when I was going through my 'I only watch rom-coms phase'.  This may have been the film that pulled me out of that phase...

Matthew McConaughey plays Connor Mead, a fashion photographer who thinks he's god's gift to women. Whilst at his brother's wedding, he is visited by the ghost of his Uncle who warns him that his current lifestyle will only end in misery. Throughout the evening he is visited by 3 ghosts - sound familiar?

I actually really liked the idea, a twist on Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol. Maybe I should have watched this in December rather than on the hottest day of the year so far in the UK? Anyway, I knew the plot would be predictable but I can forgive that for most romcoms. I didn't enjoy this film as much as I should have done, and I'm sorry but Matthew McConaughey is mostly to blame.

Don't get me wrong here. I have absolutely no problem with cocky, womanising characters in romcoms. Chris Brander in Just Friends? Love him. But there's just something about Matthew McConaughey that makes my skin crawl. I just don't get him! Every girl in this film who fawned over him needed a slap, especially that bridesmaid.

I have to agree I hated Matthew McConaughey's character but most of all I hated the plot of this film.  The film dragged and dragged, I felt no sympathy for any of the characters (particularly the women who threw themselves at an obvious womanizer), honestly I didn't even like the characters (and usually I am a fan of Jennifer Garner's work, if we pretend Elektra didn't happen of course!).  Surprisingly, as someone who usually loves the romcom genre no matter how predictable, I was bored, uninspired and wasn't even rooting for the couple in the end which is part of the the awesomeness of romcoms!

If you'll allow me to ramble slightly, I absolutely loved Emma Stone's character, it's a shame she played such a minor role. I also had a total blast from the past when I saw Breckin Meyer's character as the last thing I saw him in was Garfield! Sorry, back on track...

As I mentioned, you can probably guess the whole plot to the film before you press play, but despite that, it's enjoyable and there are plenty of funny parts. Some are just a little too over the top and others entirely un-realistic. If you're just about holding up a huge wedding cake about to topple over, would you not just shout for help rather than try to catch a champagne bottle with your foot to hold it up with?!

The only positives to the film for me were Michael Douglas as Connor Mead's hero and mentor, Uncle Wayne and Emma Stone's girlfriend flashback!

If it's sat on your 'to watch' list then give it a go, but if not, feel free to give Ghosts of Girlfriends Past a miss.

Personally, I would suggest give it a miss (unless of course you are trying to watch everything Emma Stone has been in!)

Review: Zombieland (2009)

I'm a bit of a wuss when it comes to scary films, I can't watch one on my own. The gore and psychological torment doesn't bother me so much, but it's those jumpy bits that have me running scared! Zombieland was on my Emma Stone list though so I was going to have to face this, and well, it is a comedy mainly, so I manned up.

I watched this for the first time with Jenna last year, and I convinced my other half to watch it with me again just before we went to Cornwall for a short break the other day. I actually forgot how jumpy the first five minutes are! I had already seen this and I told Allie it wasn't jumpy at all, forgetting completely about all the jumps in the first few scenes - oops!!

So this film follows four characters who are some of the only survivors on earth, Columbus (Eisenberg) is trying to get to his family in Ohio, Wichita and Little Rock (Stone and Breslin) are trying to reach an amusement park they have heard is free of zombies, and Tallahassee (Harrelson), well, he's just on a search for Twinkies. Who wouldn't be on a search for Twinkies mmmm!! You could say they sort of join forces on their missions.

*SPOILER ALERT* My favourite parts of this movie are all the little details like the text of the rules that pop up occasionally, and the zombie kill of the week. It's little details like those that really make you remember a film. Not to say that was all I liked, the film was hillarious! I probably would have appreciated the Bill Murray scenes more if I really knew who he was... WHAT???  You don't know who Bill Murray is??  Groundhog Day?? Ghostbusters?? COME ON!!!  Anyway, moving on, I love the text popping up on screen, I think it made this movie - I still would like to see the full list of the rules if I'm honest!  I think Rule Number 1 was my favourite because it kept popping up 'Cardio'

 

I loved Woody Harrelson's character in this, specifically “in the ass-kicking business – and business is gooooood!” and I could complete relate to his love for Twinkies!! The contrast between him and scaredy cat Columbus makes for brilliant viewing and good fast paced banter between the two.  This is one film that I didn't particularly like Emma Stone's character, although the further through the film I got the more I got to like her!

 

 

Seriously though this film is great, I also heard that it was based a little on the game Left 4 Dead 2 which makes me happy as I freaking love that game. Never heard of this... Okay, Flick Chicks needs a games night at some point. Left 4 Dead is amazing and I'm terrible at it which makes it even better.

 

In case you need to be reminded of some of the rules for staying alive, here you go...you can thank me later.

A great film to watch with friends or family with a couple of drinks and a take-out!  Brilliant film, laugh out loud funny and delightfully clever.  Can happily watch this over and over again and never get bored!