Review: The Hateful Eight (2015)

Okay folks, lets for just a second imagine that time travel is a thing. Now you're probably wondering what on earth time travel has to do with The Hateful Eight, right? The answer is nothing! It's just that my review found itself buried in our drafts list for 6 months, and most of it won't make sense now. So, cast your minds back, your fridge is full of leftover Christmas turkey and you're either still hyping about The Force Awakens, or desperately avoiding spoilers...got it?

If you live in the UK, you’ll have no doubt heard about the drama Cineworld have created by taking the decision to not screen The Hateful Eight in any of their cinemas. The distributors chose the Odeon at London’s West End for their special 70mm premiere, and well, Cineworld threw a temper tantrum. They’ve spent too much time watching Kylo Ren, clearly!

Thankfully, my local isn’t a Cineworld, nor do I pay them monthly for their Unlimited card, so I’m safe, but poor Jenna does and last I heard she was boycotting this movie in protest! It’s started a great marketing campaign for the other cinema chains though. Showcase have offered their usual member discount prices for tickets to Unlimited card holders, and Vue just went out there and offered UNLIMITED popcorn to anyone watching The Hateful Eight!

Just to rub salt into the wounds, I wasn’t that fussed about watching The Hateful Eight, the runtime made me want to cry, but movies like this are best enjoyed on the big screen, so I stuck on my comfiest hoodie and fluffiest socks, and fought my way through the wonderful UK winter weather to Odeon.

The Hateful Eight is the story of 8 characters brought together in a haberdashery store to stay the night due to an awful snowstorm that has kicked up. Each character has their own reason for being there, and I’ll let them tell their own stories to you respectively when you watch it, because it’s all part of the charm of the movie. That first hour drags like a female dog, and I was grateful for being stuck in a cinema at the time because if I were at home I’d have spotted something shiny and stopped paying attention.

After the introductions though, a game of ‘who done it’ quickly surfaces, and that’s where The Hateful Eight really gets going. The whole cinema burst into hushed whispers to their movie-buds of who they thought was guilty at this point (Jenna you’d have hated it, I could picture you giving everyone your evil eyes!), and then the bloodshed started.

It would take forever to tell you about all the characters, but Samuel L Jackson’s character Major Marquis Warren was by far my favourite. I’m actually quite gutted he wasn’t nominated for an oscar this year, he fully deserves it for this. He goes from terrifyingly menacing to absolutely hilarious with a click of your fingers, it’s great. I don’t mean to be ‘that guy’ right now but is it just me or was Tim Roth channeling his inner Christoph Waltz in his role? Was Christoph Waltz offered the part and turned it down?

I think, when you go into a movie with low expectations, it’s much easier to fall in love, because I really enjoyed this, to the point where I can almost forgive how darn long it is! Sometimes it’s the littlest thing that gives you joy, but those moments where the whole cast is screaming about the door just cracked me up, and Samuel L Jackson has so many great one liners in the final chapter. I dare not type them out here however!

Watching the Star Wars Series for the First Time

I’ve always wondered how long I could put off watching the Star Wars movies before either society shunned me, or I got too curious for my own good. The upcoming release of Episode VII: The Force Awakens is what did it in the end. It’s my family’s movie of choice for our Christmas IMAX outing, and well, I don’t want to be sat watching a movie not knowing what on earth is going on! So, I’ve been compiling this post over the course of 5 weeks, whilst I catch up.

Slight white lie I should fess up to first, I’ve already seen Episode I, but general consensus seems to be that the world would be a much better place without it, so I’m hoping to be forgiven for that.

I will get to see Episode VII on Sunday 20th December, so starting on 15th November, and on every Sunday afterwards, my fiance and I have got together to watch the next installment. We’re watching this in episode order rather than release date, for my own benefit. I get confused easily.

Episode I: The Phantom Menace (1999)

It would be wrong to miss this one out really, wouldn’t it? For some reason I got my friends together to watch Episode I at the cinema for my 12th Birthday. I don’t remember much other than the pod racers, and I was a big fan of Jar Jar Binks at that age, too. In fact, I did a fairly good impression of him too, in my own opinion, but it probably sounded exactly like my Yoshi impression…

Episode II: Attack of the Clones (2002)

Impression #1: 2 hours and 22 minutes long?! Sigh...get the kettle on. No, I jest. I quite enjoyed watching Attack of the Clones actually. Anakin is an extremely whiny Padawan though, I much preferred him as a cute little kid. The crazy action scenes were fun to watch too, and the CGI wasn’t bad at all. I also had no idea Samuel L Jackson was in this series either, so that was good. Without a doubt Jango Fett was my favourite character, which obviously sealed his fate (curse my luck) but I’m looking forward to seeing Bobba again!

I’m just not sure I understood the whole clone situation though. With a title of ‘Attack of the Clones’ I was expecting Jedi HQ (or whatever it’s called) to be attacked by clones...but no. Who ordered those clones, anyway? My fiance explained it to me but I forgot already. There’s a reason I haven’t watched Star Wars before now. Wait, do they mean the droid army? They attacked? No, I’m not going to try and work it out...

Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (2005)
Okay, I think I’m really getting into this now. Episode III was much better than the other two, although some of the dialogue just made me cringe. It was a sad ending indeed, but at least I don’t have to suffer Anakin and Padme’s relationship any longer. I have to say though, I feel really conflicted about Anakin turning over to the dark side. On one hand, it’s awful and slaying the younglings is absolutely unforgivable. On the other though, he was pretty much forced into it by both sides. The Jedi Council treated him awfully!


I have just 2 things to whinge about with this one. Firstly, why on earth does no-one wear any proper kind of protection on their wrists? I lost count of how many hands were lost due to lightsabers this time round. Secondly, surely this movie should have been called Attack of the Clones?! This time they did actually attack!

Episode IV: A New Hope (1977)
Oh lordy, why did I save these ones till last? Okay, I understand why I was told to watch in release order now. It is so hard going from modern day special effects to this. Although, and I know this sounds weird, I’m really surprised at how modern the Stormtroopers look. I mean, they look exactly the same from 1977 - 2005 without looking odd over time. It’s a terrible way of wording it I know, but that’s what I’m thinking right now.


Anyway, loved the story in this one! There were also so many quotes I’ve always known but without context, and so being able to visualise the ‘these aren’t the droids you’re looking for’ moment gives me great joy. Watching Luke pander after Leia was a little cringey, and I’m hoping they found out that they’re siblings before that gets too weird. I never thought I’d say it, but I am really enjoying Star Wars right now.

Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
Okay, Star Wars fever has hit me full blast. I have stormtrooper pajamas with matching fluffy socks, I'm playing a Star Wars game on my tablet religiously every day, and I've even nabbed joint custody of my fiance's Star Wars Lego advent calendar. Oops.

The Empire Strikes Back was probably the movie I was looking forward to the most, everyone I spoke to said it's their favourite. Maybe I was expecting too much, and I really did enjoy it, but I preferred A New Hope! Han Solo was hands down amazing in this though. He just oozes charm! I've never been a big Harrison Ford fan, but he converted me. That moment when Leia tells him she loves him, and he just responds with 'I know' was brilliant. The battle on Hoth was a highlight for sure too, but that was ruined a little from watching the new Battlefront game too much. Dem graphics, man!

Episode VI: Return of the Jedi (1983)
So...unfortunately life got in the way. My viewing schedule got mixed up, and although I'll be watching Return of the Jedi on Friday night, I wanted to get this posted before the internet breaks with The Force Awakens reviews.

I'll add to this as soon as I have seen it but for now...this has been one of the most exciting blogging features I've done. I've gone from reluctantly booking my family's IMAX tickets to being more excited than a child at Christmas!

Thanks for stopping by...but for now I'm logging off the blog, Facebook, Twitter, the Internet, Radio and TV until Sunday night, when I finally get to witness the Awakening.

May the force be with us all...

Review: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)

Around Christmas time in 2014, the cinemas were shoving trailers for Kingsman: The Secret Service down our throats, and although it looked pretty funny, I had no intentions to see it in the cinema, because it was a film for High School kids. Then, in the new year, some of my friends saw it and wouldn’t stop raving about it, and once I read into some reviews I realised. This is possibly the most mis-marketed film in history.  Whereas I saw the trailer an knew immediately that I had to see it (this probably says a lot about my mental age!!)

Kingsman is a secret spy organisation ran by true gentlemen. When disaster strikes and the service loses a key member, a group of new recruits are chosen to be put to the test. One of these new recruits is foul mouthed, street-smart Eggsy (Taron Egerton), who despite his upbringing, is a good lad and simply wants to do what’s best. Harry Hart (Colin Firth) mentors Eggsy in the hope he makes the cut, while the world in under threat by the film’s villain, Valentine (Samuel L Jackson).

I didn’t realise how crazy the plot actually was until I sat down and finally watched the film last night. Think Hot Fuzz meets James Bond, that’s the best kind of comparison I feel I can make. This is absolutely not a kid’s film. It’s age 15 restriction, bad language and violence puts it firmly in the adult category, but fun-loving adults only. Don’t expect a serious, realistic plot from this, because it’s just not that kind of film.

Despite my hatred of ‘chav’ characters, I really warmed to Eggsy right from the outset and found him highly likeable. It was the posh jerks training with him that really wound me up. The whole cast did a really good job though, I thought, especially Samuel L Jackson as the bad guy, with his eccentric clothing and lisp.

The action was awesome and the CGI elements would have been brilliant on the big screen. The scene with Harry fighting in the church was a great example of this. This will probably give the wrong impression now but my fiance and I laughed out loud during that scene. It was just so intense, and so crazy, but done so very well. That was a scene without many fancy Kingsman gadgets too.  Me and Lou were laughing in the cinema too so you're not completely bonkers ;-)

This was a great 'impression' of a classic spy movie that almost takes the piss out of itself.  I fully agree with Allie that Eggsy is a truly likable character (although the nickname sounds more like the actors nickname that the characters, just me?!) and you are willing him to succeed.  Colin Firth is brilliant as Harry and the months of training that he went through for the role is apparent, I can't imagine anyone doing a better job.

My only niggle (and that is all it is) is that I found Samuel L Jackson's character really irritating, I am aware that he was meant to be completely over the top as with everything in the movie but he just grated on me somewhat - I'm sure many will disagree with me!!

The story is completely far fetched, the gadgets ridiculous and the one-liners hilarious, everything required for a highly entertaining two hours. 

Kingsman: The Secret Service is just an all-round brilliant film, and I can’t recommend it highly enough. It’s so easy to watch, and would be just as perfect with a group of friends on a Friday night just as much as watching it in bed on a lazy Sunday morning.

This is definitely a re-watcher for me, in fact I've already seen it 3 times since the cinema ;-)

Blind Spot: Pulp Fiction (1994)

This month marks the first time Jenna and I have been able to watch our Blind Spot film together, huzzah! Chinese food ordered, cups of tea made, fire on, the perfect Flick Chicks film night. Pulp Fiction was one of Jenna’s choices, one that I’d completely forgotten about because I had actually seen parts of it before, but couldn’t remember anything other than that couple robbing the diner!

Pulp Fiction is the telling of four connected violent, hilarious, and downright crazy stories following the lives of two mobsters, a boxer, a gangster’s wife and a thieving couple. It boasts one of the most amazing casts I’ve seen, John Travolta, Samuel L Jackson, Bruce Willis, Tim Roth and Uma Thurman just to name a few.

Bear with me here, but man did this film drag! We paused at one point for a drink break thinking that we were near the end, but we were just about an hour in. Not quite even half way at that point. Thing is, all the scenes we had heard about had already happened, so we couldn’t work out what was even going to happen next. Kettle boiled, we were introduced to the Gimp. Oh! Traumatised is not a strong enough word!!

In fact, when the film actually finished, I was feeling pretty ‘meh’ about the whole thing. Sure, I laughed my socks off at many points, and couldn’t fault anything other than how darn confusing the whole thing was, but I couldn’t work out if I enjoyed it or not. It made Fargo seem simple!  Now although I found it really complicated I actually really enjoyed it - I am still running through the scenes now trying to put them into chronological order, i don't think i'll ever manage it.

On the drive home though, and indeed while I was trying to get to sleep, I couldn’t stop thinking about the film, and the more I thought about it, the more I appreciated it for what it was, and then I felt guilty! Did anyone else find this?

I can't really place much commentary on the storyline because i'm still trying to work out what happened, what I do know is that I really enjoyed it and I won't forget it in a hurry. Samuel L Jackson was amazing, I think he has taken a little part of this character and injected it into every character he has played since.  It's typical Quentin Tarantino, bloody confusing but so entertaining that you get over it.

There are so many jokes and memes that make sense to me now. Every time someone mentions the game, Guess Who I put on my best Samuel L Jackson impression to ask ‘Does he look like a b*tch?’ without even realising it’s a reference to Pulp Fiction. There was an episode of Community all about that suitcase that I need to re-watch now, and I’ll never let anyone order an expensive milkshake quietly.  Don't forget the Direct Line advert (for our UK readers) and The Wolf - who knew!!

Don't really know why BUT I loved it...I think I may need to watch it again though to get my head around the storyline!

Review: Turbo (2013)

I've done a terrible thing. I told you all in my Best and Worst: Ryan Reynolds post that I'd seen every film Ryan Reynolds was in, and I hadn't! Technically I don't think this should count as it's just his voice in the film, but as me and Jenna were going through IMDB lists, I suddenly realised I hadn't seen Turbo yet. Netflix to the rescue! Really? I'm amazed, I remember you being so excited when it was announced.  I actually saw this on a flight to god knows where while it was on at the cinema in the UK.

 

 

It doesn't matter how old I get, I'll always be excited about animated films. I've always loved DreamWorks films, possibly more than Disney, but let's save that for a planned post we have for the future! WHAT?! This is definitely a discussion we need to have in the future!!

 

You can probably guess the story for Turbo without watching the trailer. Theo is an ordinary garden snail who dreams of winning the Indy 5000, a famous car race. He winds up in an accident which gives him nitros powers, essentially changing him from Theo into Turbo.

 

I'll be honest, the plot was incredibly obvious, but you have to remember that this is predominantly a kid's film; you shouldn't expect an Inception style plot! Nevermind the kids, you wouldn't understand it if they made it too complicated!! ;-) - Hey!! That said, the story is still enjoyable and you really do root for Turbo throughout the film. The other snails are perfect side characters too, and virtually everything that Samuel L Jackson's snail, Whiplash, says will make you laugh.  Agreed, I loved him!

 

There are plenty other famous voices in this too which you'll have fun trying to identify, especially the little old lady who runs the nail salon! I'll give you a hint - The Hangover! The cast of this is pretty incredible to be fair, if all these actors were in a live action film together it would have to be a must see!!

 

I really did enjoy this film even if it was missing the hidden 'just for adults' jokes that Shrek provides.  It was more for kids and less for adults with a liking for kids films.  The story as Allie said was predictable but you don't expect anything else and it is perfectly enjoyable (and ideally SFP!!).  The animation (as expected these days) is faultless and has your eyes glued to the screen even if the storyline doesn't.

 

If that's not enough for you, there's a great moment poking fun at how the internet just takes everything too far! 

 



 

All in all, a decent movie that your kids will love, even if you don't. Plus, at least now I really can say that I've seen every film Ryan Reynolds has been in!  Well done, quite an achievement!!

Enjoyable but for me a 'one watch wonder'

 



Review: Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014)

I seriously can't believe it's been 3 years since Captain America: The First Avenger! I was so happy to see this on the weekend with my gang. I have to admit, I'm actually more of  a DC girl, and Cap isn't my favourite Avenger, but who doesn't love a good ol' superhero flick? I'll try to keep this spoiler free. Allie being the DC girl, I am most definitely the Marvel girl (and a sucker for Chris Evans in a tight fitting outfit!!) therefore my review may be slightly biased!! Got to see this with my Dad a week or so ago and I'm so glad I saw it at the cinema, there is so much more atmosphere there than in your living room with a cup of tea and a pair of slippers! (I'm rambling again!!)

I'm sorry to say that I wasn't a big fan of the first film, not to say I didn't think it was good, but the story just didn't grab me. I'm not overly excited by war films, and yes, I do understand that's kind of Cap's thing, but that's just me! I'd heard great things about the new one though.  Ooooh that hurts (you wait until the Green Lantern review missy!) I loved the first film, although I am a fan of war films in general so it hit two notes for me.  However, funnily enough the trailer for this film didn't grab me, I honestly thought it looked a bit rubbish, too cheesy and had overly set up jokes. Fortunately, my initial judgement was unfounded once I actually saw the film. 

Safe to say it didn't disappoint me. This was the perfect mix of action, funny one liners, and explosions. There were twists, some expected, one very much so, but some that took me by complete surprise too and I love that. Also, as much as I can't stand Scarlett Johanssen, we got to find out a lot more about her character, and the inclusion of Falcon was a great move too.  I agree, if we are talking about the same twist, I guessed it too, it was so bloody obvious!  Not a fan of SJ, nor Black Widow so her back story and life bored me totally but everything else made up for that, Cap (that beautiful, beautiful man!) was ace, I enjoyed the story (although as a non-comic book reader, there was a huge spoiler on the cover of my Empire magazine which was disappointing and killed one of the 'gosh' moments for me! 

There are plenty of easter eggs for the die hard Marvel fans; Black Widow's necklace was my favourite one, I may have squeed a little in the cinema! The main thing that disappointed me though was that the film didn't really set us up for Avengers: Age of Ultron, which I was expecting it too.  I don't think I would have spotted this unless you had told me Allie so my favourite Easter egg was the mention of Tony Stark having 'a closer look' at the turbines on the hellicarriers, referring to the scene in The Avengers. Plus Stan Lee's usual presence, this time as a security guard in the Smithsonian Museum.

Nonetheless though, I really enjoyed this, Oh, and as usual, make sure you stay till after the credits! They don't play with you like Iron Man 3 did, don't worry. Not just until after the initial credits either, you have to stay until the end of the rolling black and white credits as there are two extra scenes for you to enjoy!

One more thing! If anyone can find out how much Chevrolet paid for the crazy amount of product placement, I would love to know! Love it!

Action, adventure, good guy wins, bad guy loses and plenty of comedic one liners to keep it flowing.  Good shout Marvel :-)