Review: San Andreas (2015)

It’s been quite some time since I saw a disaster movie. Not counting Fantastic Four, har har! You know what I mean, catastrophe, earthquakes, tsunamis, that whole thing. Disaster movies seemed to be all the rage a few years ago, but I either got bored of them or there’s just not as many being made anymore! Anyway, my family and I held a big ol’ movie night the other weekend for the first time, and San Andreas (2015)  was deemed interesting enough for our audience ranging from 13-65. Argh, I saw this and I think I forgot to review it, says a lot about the film I think....

In San Andreas, California suffers multiple earthquakes, one which goes down on records as the biggest ever in history. Lawrence, a seismologist (Paul Giamatti) and his team have developed a device that can predict earthquakes, but no one seems to be listening to him. Meanwhile, Ray (Dwayne Johnson) is having some problems of his own. His divorce to Emma (Carla Gugino) is taking it’s toll, as her and their daughter Blake (Alexandra Daddario) are about to move in with Emma’s douchebag boyfriend Daniel (Ioan Gruffudd).

Within the first 5 minutes, I knew exactly what this move was going to be filled with. Stupid people doing stupid things. Sometimes, that’s all you need for a bit of enjoyment. The living room was filled with cries of:

“Don’t check your phone whilst driving round a mountain”

“Run! Why are you just standing there?!”

“Now is the perfect time for a kiss, obviously. Now run!”

“Does he own this helicopter, or has he just abandoned his day job?”

“RUN!”

Why did everyone spend so much time standing around having heart to hearts?!

This film provided so many flashbacks to the first time and Allie watched Sharknado, I can imagine her and all her family randomly shouting at the screen wondering how there happened to be a t-shirt with sleeves big enough for Dwayne Johnson's arms to fit in but still fit perfectly in the chest, in the store they happened to crash into!!

I think San Andreas needs an alternative title, let’s call it California and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. It sums it up perfectly. (ha!!) Just when you think everything is okay for at least the next 5 minutes, the movie is just like ‘NOPE’ and throws something else into the mix. It’s exhausting to watch, but also quite funny in places. There’s this one moment where Ray and Emma are driving a boat just as the tsunami hits (obviously) but all is okay because Ray says they just need to drive over it before it crests, and then just as they reach the top, hey presto! There’s a gigantic freight ship just at the top. Doh! That scene was so amazing, I quite literally elbowed by Dad in the ribs to confirm that he too was in awe of the breaking of the laws of physics!  There were so many scenes in this film that defied the laws of physics, there was too many to count, but the quite clearly dead girl eventually coughing up a bit of water and being fine was pretty incredible, with no oxygen to her brain for approximately 5 minutes, surely she should have been brain dead, no?!

Honestly, San Andreas is one of the craziest movies I’ve ever seen. I’d nearly go as far as saying it’s like Sharknado with a giant budget, but I had an awful lot of fun watching it, too. The visual effects were pretty decent, and the action didn’t stop once for the nearly 2 hours run time.   I'm glad to see you agree on the Sharknado front, I just don't understand how a movie can be so bad with such a big budget, maybe they needed to put more of the money into the writers and less in the graphics.

It’s not something I fancy watching again, but it was the perfect choice for an action packed family movie night!  

I really wanted to love this film and it was great seeing the sights of San Francisco but where the terrible lines and ridiculous plot points in Sharknado is funny, in this it's just cringeworthy!!

Review: Foster (2011)

I happened to catch this on Sky one Saturday afternoon when I was looking for something to watch that required no effort whatsoever, and that is what I found.

Foster (known as Angel in the House in some places) is the story of a couple played by Toni Collete and Ioan Gruffud who in the wake of the loss of their child and their inability to conceive face serious marital problems.  In order to try to mend their marriage they take a visit to a foster home and the next day Eli arrives on their door step (played by Maurice Cole), Eli is quite clearly wise beyond his years and becomes the bridge between Zooey and Alec and the key to mending their troubled marriage.

This all sound terribly boring but its not, it a beautiful story of hope and love and loss that is played out really well by Collette and Gruffud.  The heartbreak that is demonstrated throughout the film feels real and left me with goosebumps.  The story plays out as Zooey and Alec learn to deal with not only having a child in their lives again but a child that is significantly smarter than they are. 

Collette is a dream to watch as always (I have loved her since my first viewing of Muriels Wedding when I was 10yrs old) and she brings a real warmth to the character, starting from a depressed woman dealing with the loss of her child, to a confused mother figure to a child she doesn't know, to a loving Mom.  Gruffud's, Alec can't seem to find his place, his business is failing, his marriage is failing but you never blame him, you just want him to succeed. Even when the couple are arguing you are fighting for both corners because you like both characters.  It was odd for me, as a cynical man-hater (no offence to any male readers out there) I usually automatically side with the female character but this story gave me food for thought.

I wasn't even put off by Richard E Grant, who I usually despise in pretty much everything he has been in, he actually brought some much needed comedy to the table as homeless Mr Potts.  The winner for me though had to be Maurice Cole who played the extremely articulate 7 year old Eli, he was fantastic and I just fell in love with him the second he came on screen.  He was perfect for the role, I don't think I could name a child actor who could have done it better.

Overall, this is a lovely story with a lot of warmth.  Great to watch in the cold months with a big blanket and a cup of hot chocolate :-)